Second, I am Scottman. I am sort of like a superhero of sorts except without any special powers beyond making other smile which, in a sense, is the most special power of all. I wrote here about how I became Scottman and why it was hard to leave my last church because they all cared so much. I even had my own theme song which sounds suspiciously like the Batman theme song. When that song is sung I jump like a superhero does with hands on hips, ready for action.
Third and last, what none of the kids, except possibly Karen's daughter, knew when I left the church to move from MD to Texas was that I wanted to be part of the fifth road rally at the church. More on that shortly. A big thank you to Alison for not telling the other other high schoolers of her suspicion that I might be part of the event despite being thousands of miles away.
That brings us to last Saturday night
I was expecting a phone call and I knew it'd make me smile but I did not realize how much it would lift my spirts. This phone call had been planned ever since I left my Frederick, Md church in March. None of the teenagers, with the exception noted above, suspected a thing which made it all the more fun.
For five years the Unitarian Universalist Church of Frederick, Md has held a road rally for the high schoolers and for five years I have been the mystery guest. A road rally is like a scavenger hunt but with cars so tasks my range from "go to such and such a park and count how many swings" to "pick a book at goodwill that represents your current spiritual belief" to "what item on sale for under $ represents your thinking about the church," etc.
For the first rally they were almost as shocked as I was to find me in a McDonalds. This was because it was the year I was heavy on my anti-fast food (especially anti-McDonalds kick), after reading and reviewing Fast Food Nation and Supersize Me and was encouraging people to boycott the place where I was now sitting. But I knew it'd be funny and it was and I did not break any laws while there though I did leave a copy of Fast Food Nation behind in attempt to make a difference, Scottman-style.
In other years they found me in a park, sort of hiding, and one year they found me at a cliff overlook where each team was assigned to write a haiku.
The goal of the road rally is not to be first - in fact the first car to arrive is sometimes deducted points - because the point of the event, like the point of the religion, is to focus on the journey, not the end point.
So the obvious question: Didn't it get predictable to always have the same "mystery guest?" Sure but that made it more fun. So that made it an extra twist this year because even as as I was leaving and they were saying "but...but... you can't leave - we need you for the road rally" I was telling Karen, their main teacher, my mentor, my Yoda except much younger and less scaly, that we need to find a way to make it so that I am still the mystery guest.
We had a few months to figure out how to make it so. I suggested we try to set something up with skype but after my apartment was burglarized about a month ago and my computer was taken I dropped that idea.
So what we settled on was the telephone game. The first plan was to have each of the four teams call me and I'd tell them a true story and then they'd play the telephone game (where each person tells the story to another person and, of course, the story changes some along the way)
But we decided it'd be more fun if we did one big telephone game at the end of the rally - and I liked this because I didnt have to worry about telling the story the same way four times. I like to think I'm a great storyteller but I will adjust it each time to improve on it which is why I'd make a terrible actor (plus that whole stagefright thing - may link to my piece on sometimes, believe it or not, being speechless.
Anyway so that was the plan...
And at about 8 p.m. or so the phone rang.
It was Hope. I'm not sure who was more excited - me or her - because I really missed them and they, I think, missed me too.
And so the telephone game began. It focuses on Charlie, a two-year-old son of a friend named Gretchen who some of you have seen around my Newsvine and facebook pages.
This was, essentially, the story I told:
I was playing with a little boy named Charlie. I noticed he was copying everything I was doing which is always fun.
So when I took a drink out of a sippee cup he took a drink out of his sippy cup
When playing with his truck I would go "beep beep beep" when it was backing up so when he would have it back up he would also make it go "beep beep beep"
But then Charlie's dad wanted me to throw something across the room. And I thought, uh oh, but his dad insisted so I threw it. Then Charlie began throwing things too having now learned that it's ok to throw things across rooms.
I felt bad because I'd been a role model to Charlie... until he asked me to stretch out my legs so they would serve as a drawbridge for his truck, backing up, to go through and as it did it went "beep beep beep"
the end.
As I was telling it I was realizing this story was way too complicated (but I'd already reduced it down somewhat).
So Hope began telling the story to the person next to her and as the story was told and retold across the room of about 20 high schoolers the phone was handed around and I was able to catch up with these teens who I missed so much. The only ground rule from Karen was not to talk about the Charlie story so I obeyed.
Finally, the story got to Alison who told the group, with me listening by phone, the story as she heard it:
"Scott was babysitting a girl but then something happened and they all died, except the cat."
Well, hmm, I think the only part of that which was correct was my name.
I suggested we go back to Hope, who, like Alison, is one of the coolest teens I know, and I asked Hope to share to the group, again with me listening, what she remembers of the story and then I'd correct it where it went wrong.
So...
Hope said: Scott was babysitting a boy name Charlie
me: Yes except it wasnt babysitting
Hope:.. sippy cup
me: right
hope... beep beep beep
me: right
Hope: Then Scott crossed the room and so did Charlie
me: Well, threw something ACROSS the room but I can see where that confusion could occur in a loud room.
hope: Then there was a drawbridge and it went "beep beep beep"
me: Well, it was the truck, not the drawbridge, that went beep beep beep.
Someone shouted the obvious question: how did Charlie switch genders, why did everyone die and where did the cat come from? I had no idea. I'm sure that gave something to talk about.
Karen thanked me for doing this and then I teared up, first cry (but a cry of joy, not sadness) since I moved here as everyone sang "na na na na na na Scottman!" (I should have seen the song coming but I was just leaving in and loving the moment.)
Before hanging up Karen told me that at least one teen even jumped up and struck the Scottman pose, for which she was given extra points.
And that endeth this story. It was a good night.
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