Thursday, September 29, 2016

A Definite Miss By Publishers

About four to six times a month I get unsolicited books sent by publishers. This is in addition to the solicited books I get to do author interviews (of which i've been doing about 25 a year for ten years or so now.)

Sometimes the book i'm sent unsolicited is a perfect fit to my usual books interests of the three m's - memoir, media or mystery.

And sometimes not.

Once I received a book of advice for women on how to find the perfect husband. And then I received also the paperback edition.

I once got one called Dump the Chump which was about determining if your man was a chump or not. I did an interview on that, sort of an attempt to determined if I was a chump or not (she said i was not.)

Which brings me to today.... when I received this book: Tales From the Back Row: An Outsider's View From Inside the Fashion Industry.

Who thought this would be a good fit? Did someone think I've been asking myself, "what it's really like to work in the fashion industry?" (to quote the book's back cover

While not a chump I pay as much attention to fashion as Trump does to how to properly meditate

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Radio, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," and short cuts

Radio, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," and short cuts

I like when I see how my charge is processing things. Like earlier this week when he asked permission to skip a page in a book and
explained that he self censors rather than obsessing on telling others things he wants or hopes for (xbox)
We had three of those moments Friday which, like so many moments happen in a car. I did a terrible job with one of those and a good job with the other.
1) We have our own routine for the radio. If we both like a song obviously we listen to it, both dislike it, we skip it. If he likes it I may
listen to it... but I can also announce driver's perogative and nix it. And if i like it and he doesn't, well, it depends on the song.
He'll give me a look of (and sometimes say) "that's a song you like that's really old" which can be beatles or REM.
Ok, so i guess it's more nuanced.
Anyway we switch between five pre-set stations and we find some of our favorite songs on all five stations.
So I was thrown for a loop friday, en route to park day, when he asks why one station was playing a certain song.
Why wouldn't it?
He looked puzzled and said usually we only hear a particular song (the name of the artist and song were forgeotten, sorry) on a certain
station.
Later, I realized,he was figuring out genres of stations and so his expectation for one station was thrown.
Instead I made a joke of it. "Oh, do I need to call Kate Perry to say a different station is playing her song?"
He laughed.
So I missed a chance for a talk about genre but we both laughed it off and it was fine.

Then on the way home he said, "What does 'No more Mr. Nice Guy?" I took it for a general question - "um, well, someone is being nice
and then they stop being nice and sometimes they then say 'No more Mr. Nice guy."
His expression indicated that was an insufficient and weak explanation.
He said he meant what did it mean when I said it?
Oh, when do I say that?
Then we both answer at the same time
"During backgammon!" and he says, "Yeah."
so I asked himw when I say that?
He told me I usually say that after I lose a big game.
Right, I tell him.
This cut to the quick on something: I sometimes let him win games. I once wrote a piece for an earlier charge where I detailed not
only how to go about intentionally losing a game at Uno which I determined, after many games of winning and losing, is harder to do than to
win because you have to figure out your opponents card needs and then sneak it to him.
With my charge I sometimes let him win backgammon matches but I try to be subtle about it. In both cases I do it both because my charges
would lose interest if they always lost plus why put them in a bad mood when part of my job is helpong them stay in a good mood.
So I asked him, what happens when he gets stuck and starts to give up during a game and starts to get frustrated?
He says I give him "a shot"(a chance to hit one of my pieces and change the direction of the game)
me: "Do you think that happens because i've made a mistake or, sometimes, because im being nice?"
him: "Because you're being nice," he said. (that's the first time he told me was on to me. i'd always wondered.)
me: "And what could you call a player being nice?"
him: "Mr. Nice Guy?"
Yup. And what happens when I help him, I ask. He wins, he said, and, now laughing, "Then you say 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and try to win
but lose again."
I couldn't help but laugh. It was true. I'll let him win when he's mad that I'll vow to not help him then he'll win again.
The student has become the teacher
3) Friday afternoon in the Austin area and what does that mean? Lots of traffic, you say. Yup.
We were in traffic and his dad wanted him home early so they could go swimming.
So you know how it is when you're struck in traffic and there's a block or two of businesses all intersecting, which could and was providing
a short cut? I'm sure there's a law against driving through parking lots of Target, HEB, etc without intent to shop there but rather to
drive on, just like when people drive through a gas station at a corner to avoid those stuck in traffic wanting to make right turns?
Anyway, we were stuck in traffic and i'm thinking how fast his brain is working so I decide to show him something else.
Me: "What are we in?
He: "A traffic jam."
Me: "Do you see that McDonalds?
He: "Yeah."
ME:  Do you see alll those cars driving to McdDonands - Are they stopping?
He: "No, they're driving right through and then driving on.
Me: "What do you think they're doing?"
His eyes lighten up.. realization hits.
He: "They're taking a short cut!"
Me: "Yup."
He smiles and practically rubs his hands together and asks, "Can we try this 'short cut' too?"
Me: "You want to?"
And so like we're going on a fun glorious adventure we join what seems like 20 percent of the traffic behind us as, like minds, we
all take that short cut and cut 15 minutes off our travel time."
I was full of lessons.
But my funniest moment of the day? We passed by "Mt. Playmore" and he asked if it was just for kids or... and I disappointed him with the
answer that it's for little kids, lots of bouncing or trampolines."
He doesn't like that answer.
So I give him another: I point out it's spelled like Mt. Rushmore but with the word "play" added so I say ORRRR 'It's the presidents
who are on Mt. Rushmore come back to life so there's George Washington on the trampoline, Lincoln can't use the trampoline because he's
so tall so he climbs up the rocky wall and..."
"You're joking!" he announces.
Yup, I pause to let him join in on this joke be just laughs and laughs which is good because I was suddenly blanking on the other
two presidents (he would have known the answer which I now recall is Teddy Roosevelt and, I think, Thomas Jefferson.)
Then we turned off the radio and had silence, which calms us both so that we were both back to calm and normal (or however normal
I really am) by the time we got back to his house
Some say 'whistle while you work', I say, at least for that day, "Laugh while you work." I used to fear him laughing too much because
that was a thing I was taught to watch for but now that we've worked together going on 1 1/2 years I've got a great sense of when he's about
to have trouble or laughing will cause trouble or whatever.
He has also, gone the longest time in his life, during the last 9 months, without a psychiatric emergency. So I like to think I'm doing
something right.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Review: White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg

White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg

I am looking forward to a book discussion tonight of this fascinating, excellent, depressing but educational book. It explores how the government and its leading thinkers have dealt with and treated the lower class through the last 400 years in America.

In a word, they were always treated awful but just how awful... that I didn't know. While I knew there was talk of eugenics in America way before the Nazis discussed it I didn't know, for example, that it wasn't just blacks they were considering - and sometimes did -  sterilize but also poor whites. I didn't know that many of our nation's founders and leaders believed that people in the lower class were genetically disposed to always be poor, that they believed for hundreds of years a stereotype that they could not and would not
try to get themselves into a better position of society, that they believed those who were the most poor were that way because they were lazy not because they were hopeless and being screwed over, generation after generation.
This is an important read. Just as reading someone like Howard Zinn made many, including me, consider that the history taught in the  textbooks was leaving out important people, details and arguments so does this book show that the history books almost always focus on the winners  and the upper class. It was also pretty interesting to read, for example, that 50 or 60 years ago people were trying to make these same argument
recently made by Bernie Sanders and, before him, the Occupy movement: That the government was doing all it can to help the top 1 percent at the expense of the other 99 percent.
A big surprise for me was that as bad as slaves, after they were released, were treated they were sometimes treated better - and deemed harder workers - than poor whites.
I know some who are put off by the title but the book explains that the various slurs used against the lower class became more than just words - they summed up exactly how most government leaders treated this. This is definitely an example of why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
lastly, i was blown away that even after the slaves were freed poor white people were still treated as, well, trash. This included poor white people who fought in World War I. The idea that there was a genetic predisposition for folks to be "lazy" also blew me away.