Thoughts And Reflections On An Interesting Event

The pre-2010 version of Scott Butki would have not said a thing at the event tonight about racism, despite how frustrated and furious some of the comments were, nothing like hearing hypocrisy and obfuscation by white folks speaking about racial prejudice, demonstrating just how far we have to go. Yes, that more shy version of me would have gone home and perhaps beat himself up emotionally later for his complicit silence.

But that's not who I am these days.

The current more verbal more activist version of me speaks up even when it's uncomfortable and a bit isolating and awkward.

The old me would, well, type truth to power, be in a newspaper or on facebook. The new me speaks truth to power. The latter is much harder.

So here's what happened, some needed context. The event was titled "What Is Life Like for an African American in Austin in the 21st Century?"

"Come to the November meeting of the Rio Texas chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action to get a glimpse of reality for our black sisters and brothers. A panel of three African-American United Methodists (Willie Johnson, Adama Brown, and Jarell Wilson) have agreed to talk about some of their personal encounters with racism in recent years. Under the skilled facilitation of Jeremy Solomons, the panelists will educate all of us about the discrimination and prejudice they continue to experience. "

The facilitator and panelists did great. Among other comments, Willie spoke of how he had to get a white friend to help him get a place to live when he moved to Austin almost 50 years ago. Adama spoke of getting stopped and searched everytime she goes through an airport.

Jarell's story was my favorite. He spoke of how his family moved to Round Rock and went for a walk after dinner and soon a car began slowly following them. Eventually the car pulls up and there's a police officer inside who asks, "Have you seen anyone suspicious tonight?" to which Jarrell's mom says, "Well, there's been this suspicious car following us." Funny but also a dangerous thing to say, which was the reaction of Jarell's dad, afraid the cop would do them in response. He didnt.

My disappointment came not from the facilitator or the panelists but from the comments and questions from the public, from these folks, some of whom looked at me, well, suspiciously, and others who were more friendly in greeting me, a Unitarian Universalist in a sea of what I assume to be United Methodists.

After the facilitator asked the panel a question about the situation at the University of Missouri and two other three questioned it opened up for questions from the public.

That's when my frustration began, when instead of asking questions of the guests, the panelists, people began to instead talk more to each other. It was almost as if the panelists weren't there as some didn't address them at all and other times they had nothing to add to the topic, which was at times only partly about race.

Looking back, a few hours later maybe my frustration came from wanting to hear more from the panel, as that is why I went, than to hear from some members talking to each other. And maybe I was biased in that I wanted to know more about their thoughts on racial injustice and how best to combat that.

Instead, at least 10 minutes was spent talking about - and asking the panel - if the city's ward system is better than its old system. Seriously. Which would have been appropriate if it was to speak about whether the city's minorities were feeling more represented or heard with this system but that wasnt really the topic covered.

It was the second speaker that drew my ire. I can tell you some identifying characteristics of this person but I won't since my purpose is not to shame but rather to learn from this. I'll just say that it sounded like the person was saying she was an elected official.

The white lady (with one exception the whole audience was white) spoke with some apparent pride about how all of the schools in the Austin Independent School District have No Place For Hate policies and posters. She spoke about these things as if they themselves would stop future hate. More on that in a minute.

In the same breath which which she spoke of stopping hate she mentioned, with clear disdain, meeting a Muslim boy who refused to shake her hand, indicating with his faith he is not to shake hands with women. I nodded as I understood that was part of their faith and culture adn wondered where she was going with that.

Where she was going was in the opposite direction of accepting cultural differences but instead to say that she understands discrimination because she herself was the subject of discrimination by that boy.

I'm glad I'm too polite and reserved to reply because what I just said under my breath instead was something like this: "Great way to demonstrate No Place For Hate, by taking a person's culture and turning it into an insult where none was intended."

After a questioner or two Jeremy, the faciliator, said more politely what I was thinking, essentially sayiing, "The boy was not being sexist or discriminating. He was following the norm of his faith."

I hoped for a good response from her like, "Oh, good point. He was doing right by his faith even if it felt wrong to me. Just as we get mad if people don't understand the viewpoints of Methodists and other Christians."etc.

Of course that's not what happened. This is why I call myself a cynical idealist, I hope for the best but don't truly expect it.

Her response was that he may not have intended to be discriminatory but it was and she made a point of not sitting at his table. And out of nowhere she injected violence into the conversation saying she would not have hurt him. Then while i'm sure half of us were thinking, WTF, she added she refuses to ever visit a country where people think like he does.

Fortunately, this lady was the exception not the norm of the event. She was the only one who spoke anti-muslim sentiments. And i'm sure will wonder why i'm even speaking about this but it's because it demonstrates something I've seen.

I've seen the same thing happen elsewhere, namely people getting the value and importance of stopping racism against blacks but letting slip some anti-muslim prejudice. I suggest we try to counter all of it, all prejudice. Heck, as Martin Luther King Jr. famously said "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

I think I only half listened to what else she said but it sounded patronizing to the crowd and definitely to the panel, if she even addressed them, basically telling others what they should do to improve things, part of that being what she did, namely meeting lots of people. My ears burned: So we should meet with other people but when faced with another culture, be offended? But, oh, yeah, be sure to stamp out hate! Except, I guess, if their muslim, in which case don't sit with them or visit certain nations.

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Sidebar:
I worked in education off and on for about 12 years now, mostly in Maryland and a few years in Texas. And I saw a lot of bad stuff go down. And, yes,
I saw bullying and racism and hate and often those same schools had if not "No Place For Hate" signs some variations of it. If it's policies without teeth it's not more than just another piece of paper.

My hope is that with AISD it has teeth. I have not worked in AISD so I can't speak to how well it works there.

But I'm pretty sure there's still plenty of hate that goes either unreported or not completely stopped as that's the case in most school districts I know. And that's not always the school or school districts' fault - if the families involved or law enforcement isn't on the same page it can go no where.

Jarell described being called the n word EVERY single day of his freshman year at Round Rock High School. Attempts to get teachers to do anything fell on deaf ears. (I would not be surprised if there were No Place For Hate signs nearby). It took another student in Spanish class to slap someone uttering that racial filth for anyone to stand up to that.

I can't fathom that kind of prolonged prejudice. I can, sadly, imagine it not being acted on.

I remember an early, disheartening, shocking moment for me when I was subbing at area schools in Maryland. I watched, horrified, as two kids bullied the third in a class, calling him gay and using all of those offensive words related to that.

I was pretty sure I could not do what I really wanted ,which was to march all three to the principal's office. I'd determined that the subs who are called often are the ones who don't cause trouble. So, instead, I went to the
office and said, "I see you have posted on posters signs of this being a 'No bully zone.' I want to report bullying" and offered to provide details.

I was told, essentially, that information was not needed. But don't you want to know what happened? No, not really, I was told. I left, by then my day was over, furious on behalf of that kid. I think now that maybe I should have gone higher up the chain but I was shocked of the hypocrisy of having signs saying they won't tolerate bullying but clearly the school had just tolerated and turned a blind eye to, yes, bullying.
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About 20 minutes into the event I raised my hand... and kept it raised, except during answers, for about an hour before I was called upon, being skipped over enough times I was starting to take it personally, or wonder if they worried what i'd say and/or ask.

There were some good questions, especially on the topic of gentrification in Austin, that got conversation flowing between the panel and the public and I thought that was great.

But many other questions and comments seemed, well, blah. Yes, it's important to vote and get others to vote but I think to suggest that an election or three will stop or curb racism seemed to me, too easy, too simplistic.

When I got my chance I said Hi, I'm Scott, I go to First Unitarian Universalist Church of Austin and I'm involved in the work the church is doing there especially on working on racism and immigration issues.

"I'm curious if you agree with me that while it's easy to blame the media (as one or two speakers had done) or just talk about the elections (as most had done) that its also quite important for white folks to work on their own
deep-seated unexamined racism, be it white fragility of how they have benefited from their race?" I asked.

"Also our church has partnered with Black Lives Matter which... has yet to have been mentioned at all tonight. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that movement.." There was a pause in the middle of that question when I thought quickly, "Maybe there's a reason why they haven't mentioned Black Lives Matter? Is it too thorny of a topic?" before I concluded that speaking about fighting racism in 2015 without mentioning Black Lives Matter would be a bit like discussing the GOP debates without mentioning Donald Trump.

And so I spoke and instead of pointed looks I'm receieved with complete silence. And as the person holding the microphone sums up "he's asking about Black Lives Matter" I fear I have done what I used to in school, namely the more nervous I am, the faster and softer I talk, to the extent i'd have teachers tell me to repeat a speech this time slowed down and speaking louder.

But then Jarell answered with a response praising Black Lives Matter and saying any church that is doing that kind of essential work of not just asking every white person to look at "the man in the mirror" (yes, he quoted that
Michael Jackson song) but also every black person too, is doing good important work. And if a church is doing that work that's a good thing, he said.

I glance at the clock, noting it was 8:30. The event started at 7 and was supposed to start at 8. I asked myself, Am I going mad or is it odd that it's only now, a few questions after some clearly were ready to stop, that we've talked of either white fragility and/or Black Lives Matter or, for that matter, any other civil rights group.

Perhaps, I reflected on the drive home, I'm so used to being around people more accustomed to asking these tough questions, of reflecting and asking themselves how they have benefited from institutional racism, of how even a poor white person may have more privilege than a well-to-do black family.

I reached two conclusions. First, that maybe I have been, despite my prior facebook status, in a comfort zone of sorts, surrounded by people who are accustomed to having conversations on topics like these.

Secondly, maybe the problem tonight wasn't that they avoided important topics about race relations but rather that they did not yet know how to have such conversations.

After all, on the way out of this methodist church one person asked me how my church handles racism as a topic. I said that one important step is we have an ongoing group on the topic versus occasional meetings like the one they had,. The lady, who works at a methodist church, slipped me her card and I promised a response.'