(Decided to do some fiction writing today. I've been meaning to write more and i do have more free time. So... a story about what's REALLY going in my apartment with my cats and I. Seems Maybisbee are full of surprises)
Sept. 25
As Bisbee stared at the blank screen on the laptop he thought about his day, a day in the life of being one of the humans’ cats.
Or, as he and his mom, May, put it, another day of the human being the cat’s food and toy provider.
It had been a weird day with the human sleeping in. He and May had discussed this, his habit of sleeping in later and being at home more.
On the one hand it meant more times like this, when Bisbee would lay on the human’s stomach and kiss and nuzzle him while the human was typing…. The human not realizing Bisbee was copying everything read to his photographic memory to share with his mom later during Debrief Time.
But the human being home longer and more often lately had missed up their schedules. Normally may and Bisbee had breakfast at 8 a.m., a discussion of the day’s news at noon, research hour at 5 pm as they learned new information on Catpedia and a book discussion at 6 pm.
But they didn’t feel comfortable doing that in front of the human: He’d have too many questions, and he would pull out that darned camera again. They’d told him very clearly that he should be giving them extra treats to “pay” for the photos but darn if the human was still not fluent in Catish.
However, the frisky felines were learning another thing: That silly man was clearly a victim of capitalism, trying to buy their affection with this or that present.
Lately he’d been leaving boxes open around the apartment and while they’d read, in Catipedia, about this idea that pets, especially fun, freakly, fantastic, felines preferred empty old boxes to new toys, the humans were missing the point. It wasn’t about old versus new, it was about free versus not free.
There is much humans have yet to learn about cats, particularly in terms of their politics and beliefs. Cats believe humans shouldn’t spend money on them except when it comes to foot and litter boxes. But the money they spend on toys should instead be pooled.
The pooled money would be essential when they had the Cat Revolution of 2024 when cats will both take over the world and implement Feline Democratic Socialism.
This, of course, will follow the election of Furry Sanders, a little known pet of Bernie Sanders. That will end capitalism or, as the cats put it, Catpalism.
Wait, what’s happening? I think the human is seeing and reading this. I must end this report instantly otherwise he will know too much.
Oh, well, back to reading about Waiting for Godot’s Cat.
No comments:
Post a Comment